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this is why i rant


I love my friends especially those of whom inspire me to rant more freely. Please see below for the email I received from my man Baratunde this morning. Mr. Thurston, if your compact, Nigerian ass were taller… Uhmh! I dare to think what x-rated things I would do to you.

…Pardon, I digress.

This is a rant.

The people who are opposed to building a (more than) mosque at
(somewhere near) Ground Zero need to be slapped in the face and
have their driving, firearm, voting and child-bearing privileges
revoked. They are exhibiting reasoning so flawed, so dangerous
and so dumb as to require their isolation from the rest of civil
society. Do not respect their arguments. Do not respect their
points of view. They’re wrong, and they’re assholes.

Something about this situation just made me snap this morning,
so that’s what I’m writing about.

Maybe because today would be my mother’s birthday, and I’m feeling
extra fired up; maybe it’s the fact that the Democratic leader in
the U.S. Senate, Harry Reid, has come out against it; maybe it’s
because half-term Governor Sarah Palin shares her half-wit thoughts
on the matter constantly. Yeah, that might be it, cause I saw
this on her wall

“If [Obama] encourages [the mosque] he has lost my vote – and I
am not even American”
Some facts.

1) There already is a mosque near Ground Zero. It’s been there
for decades, so shut up.

2) The proposed Islamic Center is more than a mosque. It’s a
cultural center with a mosque inside it, so shut up.

3) This is really fucking stupid, so shut up.

As best I can tell, those opposed to the construction of this
thing think it is insensitive to the survivors of the September
11 attacks and the families of those who died. They reason — and
I use that term with more compassion and generosity than these
wankers deserve — that putting a mosque near the site of an attack
by Muslims is offensive because “Muslims attacked us.” They also
cite polls about the American public’s opposition to the

Indulge my disassembling of this poorly constructed logic.

a) There is no connection between the feelings of the 9/11
survivors and New York City construction plans.

Some of the survivors are offended. So what. Some of the survivors
have no problem with it and are being used by shitty politicians.
So what. Either way, it does not matter. Horrible things happen
to people every day. That doesn’t mean they get to influence urban
planning. I survived a meal at Crown Fried Chicken. It was traumatic.
I suffered greatly. However, that does not mean I get to banish
processed chicken products from my neighborhood.

b) The people who attacked us are building a mosque where they
attacked us.

Arrrrrgh. This actually physically hurts my brain to even type out.
There are multiple Muslims in the world. The ones who jacked the
planes and planned all that horribleness are not the same ones
building the center. The fact that both claim to worship the same
God is irrelevant. It’s not an Al Qaeda mosque. Would we come close
to accepting this fallacy for other groups?

I have one in mind. Catholics. Thousands of Catholic priests raped
children for decades and were granted protection by the Church
itself. Very traumatic stuff. So how about no Catholic churches
get built anywhere near a child? Children should be a Catholic
Free Zone. It’s too risky. It’s too soon. It’s too painful. It
stabs hearts or whatever the hell words fell out of Palin’s gaping
maw and found their way onto Facebook and Fox News and my brain

Here’s another. Bankers. Thousands of “finance professionals” took
massive risks that destabilized what’s left of our economy in large
part due to insane bets on the housing market and the peddling of
crap mortgages. So how about no banks get built within five miles
of a foreclosed home? I speak for the survivors of the housing
meltdown when I say allowing any bank anywhere near such hallowed
ground is offensive. It’s too soon and too thoughtless.

One more. People. People do bad things to other people. As a person
I speak for the victimized people of the world, and I demand that
we not allow people to do things near the places where other people
might be.

c) A majority of the American people are opposed.

So what. This country isn’t run by simple majority rule, and the
opinions of people in California, Kansas and South Carolina has
not a thing to do with what we build in New York. 100 percent of
the people in my apartment believe Montana should be replaced with
a live fire obstacle course where the Texas School Board has to
where sombreros, Charles Darwin t-shirts and survive an assault
by the gun-happy, illiterate offspring raised on their shitty
education standards.

Besides, the American public has shown questionable judgment on a
number of issues. The same people whose viewing habits gave us two
more seasons of Jersey Shore want to lecture us about decency?
I don’t think so.

Look, there are hard parts to making democracy and civil society
work. There are tough calls. There are times for compromise. This
situation is none of those things. This is easy.

We claim to have religious freedom in this country, so the people
who dry hump the Constitution should not be opposed.

We claim to respect private property rights, so the libertarian
folks should not be opposed.

We claim to be a nation of laws, so the ignorant opinions of random
agitators should not matter.

I don’t know how this “argument” has gone on for so long, but it’s
over. There’s really nothing left to say. Anyone opposed to this
building is a shitty American who doesn’t know what America
actually is.

This was a rant.

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